Friday, 26 June 2009
MY MEAGRE WOMB
My beloved daughter, although not my flesh and blood came into my life to give birth to the mother in me.My life was in a dormant sleep and she pulled at the chords of my motherhood and proved it to everybody including me ..." WHAT GOOD ARE LEGALITIES WHEN THE HEART YEARNS FOR SOMEONE." My meagre womb can never match BHAVANA. She is deemed to be greater than it. I never gave her my share of milk but she has come to return the love in manifold. She is my own being , my very own existence.......a love that has enveloped my life in absolute bliss.There was a phase in my life when I went through the turmoil of being childless.Probably at that time she was waiting an unbearable wait for me to recognise her soul and understand that she was mine even in the eerie silence of my womb. Her voice calling me MAMMA fondles my dream to that of a starry night. Her sight caresses my soul.She has walked into my life like a princess and adorned me with the melodies of motherhood...........Time stood still and bliss set in as I unravelled the treasure in mothering a child who had come from the land of unknown to assure me that she was always mine.She came to teach me that love isnt just a beautiful word. Beyond this syllable is a wonderful feeling .And that is what BHAVANA, the hindi connotation of the word implies and that is exactly what BHAVANA is all about.Sketching out with a brush I could just put across at one stroke that she is a MIRACLE.
As i hold her in an affectionate embrace her eyes close as peace prevails.I will not allow anyone to trade this serenity that soothes her heart yet I have to snap this unseen umbilical cord that connects us and give her up to the man of her dreams. That day I will be giving my all. A mother having a daughter would only be able to relate to this sentiment. What it costs to give away her fairy , her doll to someone unknown , someone who wouldnt even know her child's silent joys, wishes and tears.
As I take every breath a silent prayer rises above. I place it at the altar with a mother's conviction that my daughter is going to get the best in this life .You cant ask me why, for love is never about logic and reasoning. I just create that belief in my soul and drive my apprehensions away. There is no end to wanting for your child when you are a mother.Sometimes I look ahead beyond this life. I can see a new chapter unfolding. Subtle emotions cross my mind as I gear up for the next phase of my life. A day that holds promises for my child, a day when she will be far away from me , perhaps in a distant land, in the canopy of her newly bestowed family life, yet she will be forever mine. Oh what a beautiful feeling this is. A sense of security that stems from the unbound love of a child who gave me the identity of a MOTHER. My darling, thank you so very much for enriching my life with the world's greatest gift..... MOTHERHOOD.