UNLUCKY 13th LUCKY FOR US

M....U...U...U...U...M...S,





Luck unfolded that very day when your tender hands held mine with an extraordinary warmth. Ours is a relationship that had its roots on the 13th of December. It has been a lovely journey since then. Its a special day for us but happily none of the other days have been one shade less special, so today I am truly not celebrating the 13th but our enigmatic relationship over the years.



Going down the memory lane, I feel happy. I can see you at the school gate, me waiting for you in a rickshaw with a black forest pastry. How you would enticingly feast on it from my hands. The simplicities of life giving us magnanimous delight that can have no substitute. How I would feed you lunch after you would be back from an exam and how I would go till the board of our lane longing to see you coming back from college flashing your sweet smile. I am happier as nothing has changed in our relationship. We still share that closeness and that is what makes me dance when you come back from office now. From school to college to office has been quite a TIME but it has all been captured into one MOMENT.....our togetherness.



Sometimes I have a catch in my heart. Soon you will be away from me after your wedding. I cannot imagine this house without your presence, without your touch, without your care and concern and then tears choke me as I know....THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU AGAIN.



M...U...U...U...U...M...S its very difficult to fathom this phase of my life where I wish to see you settled yet feel unsettled at the thought that you will not be around. Every dawn is special for me as I wake up to your charming ways. Everyday is a thanksgiving day for me.



What you are to me is impossible to put across. Today particularly I know what a rainbow is. You are my rainbow when my days are shrouded with anxiety. You have grown up to give me back all that I have given you. How will I manage to live without the comfort of your caring ways. I surrender before you as these feelings cross my mind and unnerve me.



People reading this letter may be confused as to why I addressed you as MUMS. Thats the best part of our bonding where as a mother I helped you to grow and now as a mature adult you mother me instead. There is such magic in our ways that you understand what all I have to say when I just sms M...u...u...u...u...m...s. You know I am saying .........when will you come home, how long will you sit in office, i am missing you, i am getting angry and where are you. There is no need of being so explicit when you understand everything without having to say. With you I can be my true self. I can transform myself from an adult and speak incoherently like a kid, jump around like a squirrel and tell you that I will reach home in 596 mins and 75 hours.... a LINGO you can relate to so well by now. An enchanting spark connects us that makes me word your thoughts and then you hug me and say...."Mamma how do you come to know what I have to say and how Mamma everytime, just how?" Some questions remain unanswered as they have a deeper connection in some other life. I believe in this and feel happy that our souls have found each other in this mystical world and LET US REJOICE THIS DAY AND THIS SPECIAL UNION.



With lots of love and much more than you can wish for yourself.



Mamma (ONLY YOUR MAMMA FOREVER)

DEFINING LOVE..........................

EKTI KOTHAI LIKHE JABO...............................

SHUDHU JIBONER LIPIKA TE................................

TUMI JE AMAR, TUMI JE AMAR OGO........................

AAJ NOY OGO BUJHBE SHEDIN...................................

ROHIBE JEDIN EKA.



How else could a Bengali define love. The lines of this soul stirring song says it all. Even as an English Teacher I feel incompetent to translate these lines that embody subtle emotions of true love; yet let me try....................

" WILL WRITE DOWN JUST ONE THING........................

ON MY LIFE'S NOTE PAD.............................................

YOU ARE MINE, THAT YOU ARE MINE...............................

NOT TODAY BUT SOMEDAY YOU WILL REALISE THIS..............

WHEN YOU WILL BE LEFT TO STAY WITHOUT ME.


It was twilight. Two people from diametrically opposite worlds were meeting after a long spell. The only common thing between them was the love that swelled in their hearts.He walked in and knew it all reading her eyes. When you dont need to spell out things ... IT IS LOVE. She was battling a pain of neglect that was inflicted on her by him. He caressed her hand and in that very caress everything was vividly clear. He did not have to say he loved her, he did not have to say he was sorry for the uncaring attitude...... She did not have to say it was an unbearable wait. Their hands talked. cried, cajoled and united them in the true spirit of love.
THIS IS HOW I DEFINE LOVE.

There was an eerie silence for a long time. There was an unrest in her heart and unknowingly she found herself in an embrace she couldnt logically unravel. LOVE DOES NOT GO WITH LOGIC. He held her close yet no words were spoken. UNSAID THINGS ARE EMPOWERED WITH BETTER EXPRESSIONS. It wasnt deemed perhaps for him to hold her so close yet love is the strongest emotion that makes you surrender to the riot in your heart. Your heart says....UNVEIL THE DEEPEST FEELINGS AND JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT WITHOUT ANY REGRETS. And why regret at all ?? It wasnt a sexual encounter. ITS LOVING EACH OTHER BEYOND REALITY.

Her tears streamed down. His body trembled as he wished to soothe her with a kiss. And then softly he kissed her eyes wiping away all the tears. Both did not speak as even without words they were reaching out to each other. THIS IS HOW I DEFINE LOVE. Love is the comfort you feel in a hug, the pain that tugs at your heart, It is the magic that makes you surrender to a kiss that takes in all the droplets of HURT from your teary eyes. Most importantly it is the longing in each others eyes when you are amidst many people. Oh what a beautiful feeling is LOVE. You dont need to enjoy the climax of SEX if you have experienced TRUE LOVE that makes you belong to each other when you know you actually dont.

Love is to nurse a HOST OF MEMORIES that no rooted reality can make you part with. TRUE LOVE IS SHEER ECSTACY. It grants you its share of agonising pain but there is a sweetness even in that pain where YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONES LIFE TILL ETERNITY.

Love is synonymous to TELEPATHY. Yearn for someone who has no possibilities to return and believe in your feelings. You just watch and see how the soul etched in your body moves out stealthily to magnetically bring forth the person you have desired. And then will dawn upon you the FINAL and the ULTIMATE definition of LOVE.

LOVE IS DIVINE AS LOVE IS CREATED IN OUR HEARTS BY THE LORD AND SOMETIMES THESE UNNATURAL HAPPENINGS IN YOUR LIFE WILL CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE SO CLOSE AS IT WAS GOD'S DECISION.

A PERFECT MATCH

It was a real long wait...............



Till she found her soulmate.



God reserves his choicest blessings..............



For people who possess the best of things.



A lady par excellence is SHE...............



A man with the right chemistry is HE.



He- an academician of renown...............



With accolades that humbly crown.



She- a dedicated teacher......................



A simple and honest preacher.



Thats how it clicked over the net..............



The tech savvy world is a great boon I bet.



There is celebration in the air................



To honour this loving pair.



On Christmas Eve, may the angels sing...........



For thats when their wedding bells will ring.



Lets wish them well , rejoice and pray...........



As they turn Husband and Wife that day.



Connecting the dots forward, the LORD will guard..........



And BLISS will be written on every card.

MY UNROMANTIC HUSBAND...................

Adjectives adorn a personality and can mar it too. Well, the only negatively used ‘describing word’ which I can probably mention at rampant for the man of my life is ‘UNROMANTIC’. An honest confession……… it has caused me many a tear, yet he emerges victorious and steals away the crown and truly is a majestic husband.

My man is different from the others not because he is tall and stands out but because his ways have been stupendous. He may not be the one who would bowl me out with an enchanting dance or send violets or light some candles over a dinner and steal a rapturous kiss, yet he has made himself to the victory stand for his unmatched ways. As a lover he stood by me, honoured me for what I was and married me against all odds. I thought he had given me everything that I could ask for. On marrying this man I found he was always wanting to light up my life despite the trials and tribulations of his journey to professional success. An understanding man who wanted me to be well educated, who never wanted me to waste my talent at home. I can never forget the early days of marriage as it does not mean only honeymoon days for me. It reminds of a supportive husband who smiled away over a badly cooked dinner and even would take a generous helping just to put me at ease. A husband who would understand my woes of parting from my mother and would personally go and get her to enliven my life. A husband who would monitor like a grandfather whether I was taking good care of my very own mother. It does talk about a splendid person in him.

As a twenty two year old, on so many occasions I opened the door to welcome him back to a home where things were all upset as I would get stiff bored of house chores. An energetic man and the loving husband would spring to action settling the house and soon I learnt how to turn it into a home from him. He is perhaps energy personified. A man who could wear a smile even after a hectic train journey of two nights without reservation which he once took up by choice just to be with me. He was more than happy to be home. A man who can drive any distance to pick me up from somewhere as my comfort has always been his priority.

My beloved husband could start for work comfortably at 9 in the morning but would set off with me at 7 itself with a happy feeling that he would drive me safe to my school where I was a teacher then. I would have to get up early at 5 to finish off the cooking and with the alarm clock he would flash a smile and enjoy the bed tea. Trust me never, ever complained of having to get up in the wee hours of the morning. On the contrary would be upset if I wouldn’t call him. Strange it sounds right as I call him my unromantic husband.

Well he is a far cry from romance. He probably is a loving man who craves for togetherness. If that can be defined as romance then I have had a share of romance in my life. My sagittarian husband does not understand the lingo of romance perhaps but has done magnanimous things that people would shudder to do. On knowing that I was going through the pains of being childless he would assert that he was not fond of children. And then when he learnt I was wanting to adopt a ten year old girl who wished to be mine he never questioned. He did it for me and my smiles. And let me come to the highest honour I can credit him with. HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER TO DISTRACTION. All this has been possible only for his unbound love for me. He proved it with sincerity that love means sacrifice. I will be undermining his efforts if I sit and list out his sacrifices. It’s just for my readers to understand.

Together we have battled the unending struggles we had to meet up with. We have also had our share of bitter moments yet the happy moments surely weighed more . Sometimes my friends teasingly question how I hooked this man, so disturbingly good looking. My mind then wanders back to the distant days of the past when we fell in love without a reason. Probably that’s why till date we do not reason out things and stay on as HUSBAND and WIFE despite our differences.

Dear husband, the bridge on which we tread years back is still strong celebrating and bringing alive the moments when you confessed your love for me. It has lasted long enough for us to explore the changing times. We are ancient now, we have drowned our youth and are turning grey but our silence speaks more than words. With open arms I welcome the days ahead…… a romantic desire to hold your trembling hands, to feel your wrinkled skin, matching it out with mine and still wanting to care, wanting to be MAN and WOMAN till we are lost in the oblivion.

MY MEAGRE WOMB

My beloved daughter, although not my flesh and blood came into my life to give birth to the mother in me.My life was in a dormant sleep and she pulled at the chords of my motherhood and proved it to everybody including me ..." WHAT GOOD ARE LEGALITIES WHEN THE HEART YEARNS FOR SOMEONE." My meagre womb can never match BHAVANA. She is deemed to be greater than it. I never gave her my share of milk but she has come to return the love in manifold. She is my own being , my very own existence.......a love that has enveloped my life in absolute bliss.There was a phase in my life when I went through the turmoil of being childless.Probably at that time she was waiting an unbearable wait for me to recognise her soul and understand that she was mine even in the eerie silence of my womb. Her voice calling me MAMMA fondles my dream to that of a starry night. Her sight caresses my soul.She has walked into my life like a princess and adorned me with the melodies of motherhood...........Time stood still and bliss set in as I unravelled the treasure in mothering a child who had come from the land of unknown to assure me that she was always mine.She came to teach me that love isnt just a beautiful word. Beyond this syllable is a wonderful feeling .And that is what BHAVANA, the hindi connotation of the word implies and that is exactly what BHAVANA is all about.Sketching out with a brush I could just put across at one stroke that she is a MIRACLE.

As i hold her in an affectionate embrace her eyes close as peace prevails.I will not allow anyone to trade this serenity that soothes her heart yet I have to snap this unseen umbilical cord that connects us and give her up to the man of her dreams. That day I will be giving my all. A mother having a daughter would only be able to relate to this sentiment. What it costs to give away her fairy , her doll to someone unknown , someone who wouldnt even know her child's silent joys, wishes and tears.

As I take every breath a silent prayer rises above. I place it at the altar with a mother's conviction that my daughter is going to get the best in this life .You cant ask me why, for love is never about logic and reasoning. I just create that belief in my soul and drive my apprehensions away. There is no end to wanting for your child when you are a mother.Sometimes I look ahead beyond this life. I can see a new chapter unfolding. Subtle emotions cross my mind as I gear up for the next phase of my life. A day that holds promises for my child, a day when she will be far away from me , perhaps in a distant land, in the canopy of her newly bestowed family life, yet she will be forever mine. Oh what a beautiful feeling this is. A sense of security that stems from the unbound love of a child who gave me the identity of a MOTHER. My darling, thank you so very much for enriching my life with the world's greatest gift..... MOTHERHOOD.

An Ode To My Royal Students

As you are about to begin a tomorrow without me,
Let me assure you of your destiny…
You are going to sail smooth through the phase,
As I shall reside in your heart always.
As students you are courageous and brave,
And the road to success you will pave…
Strength and perseverance you have in you,
Creating wonders in whatever you do
The exuberance in your ways startle me,
The innocence in your heart is forever to be.
I am amazed when you shower your loving tribute,
Looking back with fondness and gratitude.
I have learnt so much from you students dear,
How to love, how to forgive and bear…
I couldn’t have been what I am today,
Without your smiles that you flashed all the way.
You have floored me with your charming ways,
And I can never forget you with the passing days.
I fumble to perfectly narrate…
What a palpable bliss in me you create.
I have sought refuge in you many a times,
As students with you my life rhymes.
We have shared a relationship for sometime,
And moments you gifted me were beautiful and sublime.
Will be connected to you with memories coming alive,
The pleasurable glimpses will forever thrive.
Whenever I close my eyes taking a relaxed breath,
Dear students I can see your image beyond death.
I stretch my arms holding on to this last spell,
Misery of ending my term in Royal is hard to tell.
You have asked me a million times…”Why, Miss, Why???”
“Sorry students----probably its time to say goodbye.”
Well things change, life goes on, so it will for us…
But nothing can take me away from you, I STATE THUS!!!

REFLECTIONS

26th of September 1987 ushered in,
And I beheld a child so very lean.
Cuddled in my sister's arms,
An angel that truly charms.
I touched the cute bundle of joy,
And said, “He’s my baby boy”.
My sister smiled and agreed,
That he was mine too, indeed.
A magical feeling stirred in me,
I became a mother along with ‘she’.
A little baby nestled in my heart,
As from him I was miles apart.
My sister told me of her infant’s craft,
How he babbled and how he laughed.
How he spoke those little words,
How he twittered like the birds.
She told me how he went to school,
And learnt to adjust to the rule.
She told me the teachers were proud of him,
And here, my heart sparked with a beam.
The joy a mother can only feel,
The excitement that made me reel.
For this wonderful gift, I thank God,
And my sister who made him trod,
Into this world to make us bloom-
as mothers, so that he can loom,
In our lives as long as we live,
To shower love and to give,
Give respect to us always,
And in affection ‘him’ we embrace.
He is our son, our greatest pleasure,
A bond we shall forever treasure.
Today as he turns eighteen,
I reflect on the years I have seen.
And with confidence I can say,
He’ll make us proud with every passing day.
God bless you is what my heart prays ,
And may you succeed at every phase.
Will love you forever for what you are
A son with whom none can be at par.