Helpline Number

My Window To Wisdom

LOVE IS NOT JUST AN EMOTION......

My aunt Anuradha Sengupta has exemplified the meaning of love in a different way. She is a lady of substance and never conducts her life on mere emotions that you and me consider to be the underlying element of love. According to her love is our very existence. She has a vociferous TIME NO BAR.... AGE NO BAR sense of commitment when it comes to helping people in distress. She stands tall in her endeavours and I am sure people will happily flourish if she sets up a counselling unit. More than the intelligent quotient she is generously blessed with an emotional quotient that helps her to place her maturity above everything. People can fall back on her and confide their deepest secrets without a cloud of doubt. Rest assured their vent out feelings will find a way through her heart and rest in peace never to be filtered out on any pretext. Her persona perhaps attracts the tired and weary souls like bumblebee. What is there in a face ? Her firm looks are not the end of the journey of knowing her. Beyond the face is a cushion like heart that can offer comfort to anyone in trouble. Magically with every passing year I am trying to unravel the mystical qualities of my aunt and the more i know her through her stories of yesteryears I am mesmerised and I have an urge of knowing her better. She is unique and foundational as she leads her life basis her principles. She has broken all the records per say courage, stability and honesty. Her hands reach out to everyone of us and she truly serves humanity. The challenges my aunt nurses in her heart, does not protect her from her pains or hurdles but helps her to act with grace. She is beauty personified. Like I mentioned according to her love is not a mere emotion but our very existence, similarly her life unfolds a different connotation for beauty too. From lessons I have garnered through the window of her life I have realised that being beautiful is being able to conduct yourself with dignity, respect and a calm disposition against all odds. I guess this strong lady has enamoured every hesitant individual with her self respect and self esteem. Her narratives talk about an impeccable tolerance in the face of hardships. That does not mean she has surrendered to injustice. She has always selected the best tool to provide a solution. She has always deferred an impulsive reaction to allow people to vouch for her socially responsible ways of handling a situation. Amazingly she will always propel herself to action with a clear direction. Despite scribbling for so long my page remains blank as all this portray only a miniscule of her ways. I do not have the acumen to describe how motherly she is and how many of us have had a share of her motherhood melodies. She will always be placed on a pedestal that surely is above the rest. There is a lot of joy indeed in conceiving a child and being a mother but here comes a lady who has spread joy around with her beautiful affection and dutiful countenance. She is an ordinary lady who has achieved extraordinary heights and wears an unseen crown for being a mother par excellence!

MEAMERISING GOD........

My sorrows have acted as a harbinger of peace for at times of distress i feel very close to you my dear Lord. You deserve a blinding adoration from me but this couldnt have happened if i was only to be basking in joy. So God you deliberately put into my kitty the burdens of life.My creator you have been generous in giving me a lot of things but have been reluctant to allow me my peace of mind as you feel i will actually be a loser then. Perhaps the happy glimpses will take me away from you. You cant possibly allow me to deny you. You have made me realise that happiness does not come with a seal of permanance. Reality is different from dreams and one has to encounter turmoils. You made me redefine happiness. Happiness is a continuous effort to overcome problems. True happiness is an undying courage in the face of a difficult situation.
Oh ! God i am brave, i will not give up my smiles. Will you not bless me with the much awaited showers of joy ? Come on God.... i have surely earned plenty of brownie points by now. With every hurdle that you have placed i have tried to clear out my frown. I have displayed exemplary courage God and i am sure you know how i have managed my daily chores at home and my responsibilities at my work station. This was possible because i love you God and always wish to respect your decision. I know you are great God and i know you have bountiful spirit and energy but God tell me ... are you not impressed with me ? Oh yes !!!!! I have confidence in you. Oh ! God you know i have taken all the pains just to appease you. God give me those melodious strains back.... its been long that i have been creating my own melodies to battle out the din of this world. I have wrapped up the miseries with a flash of defiance in the framework of my will power. I have concealed the harshness of life with my smiles. I am confident i have mesmerised you. I know you love me and soon my apprehensions will be defenceless when you unfold your divine power. I can see a tinge of grey but i know you will clear it out with your golden hue... wont you dear God ? God I promise to charm you with my forbearance and you will soon take me on an ecstatic flight and once again my life will be a rapturous song which will envisage the end of this stressful phase.
Dear God i trust your moves. I know happiness cannot cease to exist but has faded out for a momentary phase. I will revive its lustre with my fortitude and your blessings. Waiting for the carpet of green that you will set before me. Till then i am here to smile....... i am here to love and i am here to hope.......

HOLD ON TO THE HELM........

No other day of my life can measure up to the 1st of march. God came down on this day.... years back to assert that the impossible could happen if the heart yearns for each other. My life has been quite amazing in its rocky terrian with a lot of lows and then the highs that come with a reassurance. There was no doctor to snap the umbilical cord, I couldnt hear the cries of a new born yet I could feel the tug in my heart .... perhaps happiness can create a spark even in a dark chamber. Thats how my daughter entered my life. As I unlocked the door to our house she walked in and the bells of heaven rang in unison ushering in the comfort of a home. I must have done something good to have deserved a child who came breaking through the boundaries of the incredibilities of life and not through my womb. God settled all the scores when he gave me 'BHAVANA'. I was unaware that the LORD had such a surprise planned out for me. I am an ordinary person and so have my share of sins and that is why I have never seen GOD neither can i expect to have his darshan yet I can tell you that in the form of his blessings I have sensed his apparition. So whenever any of you out there feel that you are in distress.... hold on to the helm with patience and bear out the pains..... GOD'S MIRACLE WILL UNFOLD !

BON VOYAGE

I know my man since I entered my teens. When I sit down and connect the dots it tells me that I have lived only thirteen years of my life without him. I am almost a part of his life......torn apart between the phases of success and failure that touched us at the same time with its far reaching impact. I define our togetherness this way. Every time life treated us shabbily with a crisis we found ourselves picking up the cudgels and moving ahead with a unified force trying to gratify the demands of life with our forbearance. This “WE” feeling gave us strength and courage to pull on.

25 years did not pass in the wink of an eye. Our marriage has its own residue of mixed emotions........ The romantic days when our eyes met, spoke, cajoled, the exciting moments when we became one in unison with all the spark and magic of this world. Those were the days when we were enslaved because of the yearning that tugged at our hearts. But the entire journey wasn’t always euphoric. There came some years in our walks of life, years that enveloped the rainbow and shrouded it with apprehensions and travails. The busy life took us away from each other. We couldn’t fight against the tide and surrendered to the monotonous drudgery that came to greet us so unexpectedly. The peace, joy and happiness of being in communion with the man of my life were soon lost in the oblivion. A hollowing loneliness widened the gap between two people who always loved truly. So when I talk about 25 years I cannot rule out the moments of despondency. It has been quite a journey........ the colours brightened, dimmed and then at times faded not knowing how the bright hues transformed into misty shades. Yet the stressful moments could not dwarf our minds forever. We realised what we missed out on due to our incorrect ways of handling things. We wished to get back to our beautiful dreams that brought us together as man and wife in reality. We were indeed caught in the serpentine maze of life but couldn’t allow happiness to be so elusive. So yes...... we had our share of moments of poignancy but emerged victorious holding our hands with a special reassurance. Eventually we were brought back to the shores perhaps cleansed of our silly logic and false ego. We were able to fight back the hostile cosmos that is a part of every marriage. Both of us made a home in the vastness of strange ordeals our marriage gifted us with.

Honestly marriage is three parts of love and seven parts of forgiveness. 25 years of married life is not about celebrating silver jubilee, but about celebrating our growth, our maturity which allows us to understand that marital bliss is not about riding on a winged chariot, not about creating a sensation. It is life in itself...... so it has its turmoil too.
We have been married to each other because of a longing we shared once upon a time as lovers. Today our relationship has transcended above all the emotions...........love, fear, anger, grief.........all have merged ......... to create a genesis of a unique relationship in the oasis of our life as.. MR. & MRS. VIRENDER RAINA................TOUCHWOOD !!!

FROM NOWHERE TO EVERYWHERE .....

My STAR daughter TWINKLED all along. Yet in my ODYSSEY of life it took me some time to glean and capture the GLOW of light she emitted in my heart. On my graduation from a woman to a mother I realised soon what I missed all the years that had gone by. The surge of pride when your child does well, the swelling of the heart at the excitement of nurturing a child and even the agonies that arise from your child's pains are EMOTIONS of a LIFETIME. I found each one of them although different in their respective ways merged together and united us (MOTHER and CHILD) as ONE.

Does anyone know why I call her my STAR CHILD ? Oh yes as she works for STAR PLUS ! ha....ha.... JOKES APART... how can I rate my indispensable jewel to a TRANSITORY thing like a COMPANY. She is my STAR CHILD as she is the NORTH STAR that will always illuminate my life. Like the POLE STAR she stands STEADFAST and INSPIRES me to be STRONG like her. Like the POLE STAR whose light never FADES out she is there with me SMILING away the TEARS that VEIL our eyes and REJUVENATES me with her spirit. Her PRISTINE way of leading life in this STAINED world talks about the DIVINITY of a STAR. I have always been happy that my STAR works for STAR but I know even if she moves away from STAR PLUS she will forever be a STAR in her own CHARISMATIC ways. My STAR will SPARKLE wherever she goes. She is the CURTAIN RAISER of my life and as she journeys through her life my BLESSINGS will take her to a PEDESTAL where the SKIES will be CLEAR and SUNNY always. This is my confidence in a CHILD who came from NOWHERE to be EVERYWHERE !!!.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Living in this modern era BOLD obviously means to BARE and BEAUTIFUL is the ‘H’ word ( HOT !!!!) ; but to me the phrase has a different connotation. It depicts a courageous lady who is bold enough to expose the corruption around. She is clad in a simple saree which is not meant to attract anyone yet is beautiful enough to pull the entire crowd like the Pied Piper Of Hamelin. Yes she is beautiful. It is her simplicity, her honesty, her will power and her wish to be herself without being influenced or maligned by insignificant things or people around that talks about an aura in her. She is beautiful as she has always respected her identity. How many of us can remain the way we wish to be. At young age there is peer pressure. Even if we wish to live with dignity and integrity our friends feel we are ‘MISFITS ‘. It is very rare that people ignore such demands of the society and preserve the pristine outlook one yearns to maintain. There was a time when many fingers were directed towards Mamata Banerjee for her unparliamentary dressing sense as I may frame it as in todays world her simplicity is a matter of mockery and a standing joke. Many a times I tell my students what beauty is. Beauty is not the fair and lovely skin, beauty is not in having a string of affairs and get the MOST WANTED tag. Beauty is the self esteem, the self confidence , the grit, the forbearance and the perseverance that makes you glow in the altar you create for yourself. If all this is beauty then Mamata Banerjee is beautiful. Today she has proved to the world that our true mettle lies in our honest dealings. The path of honesty however is as always full of gravels. She crossed every hurdle with a burning desire of not the throne but to prove to herself that she had to pick up the cudgels against inhumanity at riot. Today the throne automatically is hers. She has been crowned the CHIEF MINISTER OF BENGAL and it isn’t just her victory. It is an hour of triumph for every individual who has suffered because of ones principles, idealism and righteousness. She is the torch bearer of truth setting an example to the entire world that nothing can come to the weak. One has to be strong and the strength is not our physical prowess but our determination and passion to live upto our values- come what may.

Eighteen years back Mamata Banerjee was thrown out of the Writers' Building and she wept at the insane behavior that was meted out to her. Yet it is said whoever insults will be insulted someday. Mamata Banerjee was choked with humiliation. Life at that time was a haunting spectre of nothingness for her but she held on to the helm. Although she went through a crushing stasis with politically correct people calling her names she refused to stoop to the debased world and lead a measly existence. For her life is a continuum as she always is fortified with the greatest weapon – HONESTY.She took a pledge that she would come back to the WRITERS' building with her head held high. Today I watched her entering the same place as CHIEF MINISTER OF BENGAL.

20th May 2011 is a turning point in the history of Bengal. It will be etched in my mind for aeons to come. As I was glued to the television I saw a sea of crowd united in the canopy of a leader with a patriotic fervour, a crowd that seemed like the unending stretch of ants but one that had the serenity which reflects how dependable ‘DIDI’ is. The crowd wore a look of relief and calm. I have never seen such pomp and grandeur on any swearing –in ceremony and ‘DIDI’ has proved it to us that true pelf and power lies in ones popularity. She swerved through the huge gathering and walked fearlessly from Raj Bhavan to the Writers' building oblivious to the fact that a bullet from the opposition might strike her. A lady par excellence, undaunted in her spirits walked amidst the crowd just like any ordinary man and earned the pedestal of an extra ordinary woman.

Mamata Banerjee’s rise to power comes as a message for us. We shouldn’t belittle ourselves when people insult us and we shouldn’t lose hope when there is no ray of hope. We should believe in ourselves and have intimate confessional talks with GOD. No one should be able to change our subtle qualities and we should have the courage to be BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL in the true sense.

LOOKING FORWARD

Looking forward to February first,

Is probably something I would think of last.

A day when Pappa left this earth,

And i found myself in sheer dearth.

Tears replaced the smiles i wore,

There were sorrows galore.

But soon i realised he wasnt gone,

And encouraged me for every dream that was born.

His unheard melodies filled my life,

His silent blessings took away my strife.

As i grew up Pappa transcended all,

And his bearings in life stood tall.

I learnt that i could connect with him,

By fulfilling his endearing dream.

Today the first of Feb is important to me,

As it gives me an opportunity....

To take across Pappa's noble plans,

Of helping the poor and the orphans.

Every year as the day dawns in,

There is a calm amidst the day's din.

A thrill, a strange contentment,

Does not allow me to lament.

I get up with a renewed role,

To cheer up the dreary soul.

I have been close to my father dear,

By wiping away many a tear.

Pappa in the oneness of you and me,

I have learnt to care for the needy.

The first of Feb brings no pains,

And i look forward to the spiritual gains.

Mother and Daughter – A journey of a lifetime.

Many have envied the perfect bonding between a mother and daughter and fathers have not been an exception to it. Perhaps fathers are at times amazed to see how, just how this magic unfolds. The enchanting spell that creates a love lock between a mother and daughter. Being a mother of a beautiful daughter I define this experience as an unending journey. I feel so complete as a woman and I realise that it is my girl who breathes in life into my existence with her eye of appreciation, with her thoughts of concern, with her touch that assures me of her undying support and an affection beyond compare. Some things cannot be justified. That’s how I define a daughter’s love. At one point even the doting fathers realise that there are certain bondings that not only descend from heaven but create heaven on earth. That is what I feel when I think of being a mother of a girl. To have a daughter is to know yourself better. The love of a daughter is a nostalgic experience.....it caresses our soul, nestles in our heart and glows in our eyes. A daughter comes into your life to give you the lessons of unconditional love. Yes, every mother knows the bird will be flying from her nest someday and then there will be a VOID. Yet, there is so much of happiness in pain too, for that pain is of missing a part of your own self, which asserts how much you have loved her, how indispensable she is and how we as MOTHERS are strong enough to give away our very own existence, our dear DAUGHTERS with a BRAVE SMILE for the sake of their SMILES. In this GIVING the mother gives her ALL yet loses nothing as a perfect mother daughter relationship does not end.......the JOURNEY continues with fresh BEGINNINGS. That is how I define a mother daughter relationship......A JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME.

PAMPERING MY DAUGHTER

THIS POST IS FOR MY DEAREST DAUGHTER WHO IS MY TEACHER AS SHE TAUGHT ME TO BE A MOTHER. SHE IS THE ONE WHO MADE ME GROW INTO A MOTHER AND HER LOVE FOR ME, TRAINED ME TO GIVE HER THE DUES SHE DESERVED SO MUCH. I DEDICATE THIS POST TO HER ON THIS AUSPICIOUS DAY.....TEACHERS' DAY.


I PAMPER MY DAUGHTER NOT WITH CHOCOLATES AND SWEETS.....

BUT BY TREASURING HER IN MY HEARTBEATS.

I DON'T SHOWER HER WITH KISSES ALL THE WHILE.......

BUT UNDERSTAND HER NEEDS BY FLASHING A MATERNAL SMILE.

I DON'T SIT AND TALK TO HER ALL THE TIME.....

YET EVEN WITHOUT CONVERSATION OUR LIFE SEEMS TO RHYME.

I CLEAR AWAY THE RUST THAT GATHERS THROUGH THE DAY.....

AND WELCOME HER HOME IN MY OWN SPECIAL WAY.

PAMPERING HER WITH GIFTS IS SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER DONE....

INSTEAD I HAVE ACTED CLOWNISH TO GIVE HER, HER SHARE OF FUN.

I PAMPERED MY DAUGHTER WITH NO POCKET MONEY......

BUT BY INSTILLING VALUES SWEETER THAN HONEY.

I HAVE TAUGHT HER ABOUT LIFE AND ITS SONG....

HOW TRUTH IS ALWAYS TRIUMPHANT OVER WRONG.

I HAVE NEVER ALLOWED HER TO PARTY THROUGH THE NIGHT.....

YET RESPECTED HER CHOICE WHENEVER SHE BROUGHT TO LIGHT.

I HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN HER FREEDOM UNBOUND.....

COUPLED WITH VALUES TO KEEP IT SOUND.

I KNOW THE CLEAREST ECHOES OF HER FEELINGS....

AND APPRECIATE HER HARMONIOUS DEALINGS.

WHENEVER SHE IS SAD I CHASE HER FEARS AWAY.....

ENSURING IN HER LIFE MUSIC WILL PLAY.

WHEN WE TALK WE DON'T NEED THE VOWELS IN PLACE....

NOR BOTHER FOR SYLLABLES TO BE CROWNED WITH GRACE.

YET WHEN WE CONVERSE TIME STANDS STILL...

AND WITH JOY, EVERYDAY OF HER LIFE I FILL.

SISTER OR FRIEND

Sister Or Friend as you say…….
Suits me fine on Friendship Day.
My childhood days you have woven well….
With golden threads and memories to tell.
Hey sister! how much we enjoyed the hour,
When pappa and ma would be off to party in their car.
We would put the music on full blast…
And dance till our energies last.
Simply rolling on the carpet at times…..
We would laugh away with no reason or rhymes.
I can’t forget the room we shared…..
The acrobatics on the bed we dared.
The melodies of “MAN CHAHE GEET”……
Oh! they sounded really sweet.
In the eerie silence of night…..
How at times we held each other in fright.
I would lead you by the hand then
And take you to Pappa and Ma’s den.
You would sweetly cuddle in their arm,
And I would be happy to see you calm.
I remember the bossing attitude too,
And how I was scared to oppose you.
You would always prove your might
And then we would start a fight.
Back again we would be doting on each other
And it then seemed nothing would matter.
Even now we enjoy the same chemistry,
For our love is genuine, no flattery.
We still have our share of fights…….
Yet make up and chat through the nights.
I admire you as you are strong willed
And the way you act as a powerful shield.
At times when I see your health fail,
You conceal your pain and ensure you don’t look pale.
I marvel to see you sweeping away fear,
And salute your courage sister dear.
You are my strength in all my lows……
How much you care it then shows.
You make me laugh with all your jest,
Sister you are simply the best.
I know we truly love each other
Term it sister or friend we will remain together.

THANKSGIVING

Dear God,

I have never denied your existence nor questioned it over the years that spanned my life.I have thanked you many a time for giving me wonderful parents, for allowing me to be the woman of the man I so desired, for giving me students who have always looked back with gratitude and ultimately for the best happening in my life.............BHAVANA.

You have always been there and I felt you in every miracle I encountered. Today as the day dawned in ,I did shudder to think WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED if you were not there to take helm of the situation. I still remember those stressful days when I spoke to you like one of my family members. I told you to take a decision. And as always after the storm in my life a calm sets in, you decided to bring in the calm by transporting your logical derivations to us. God thank you for saving our dearest daughter. God thank you for proving it to me that I am never wrong when I invoke you to come and take a call on whatever is difficult for me to handle. Darling God I love to depend on you emotionally as you never let me down. The path you make me traverse may be very steep, uncomfortable, suffocating at times but my beloved God you compensate for all these travails with miracles unbound in my life.I feel so relieved when you make your presence felt in my life.

Thank you God for gifting me this day, for understanding that Bhavana deserves much more and for making allowance of positive thoughts in the entire family to decide against the event that was slated for this day.Hey God do you remember me telling you to come in my dreams and guide me. Oh how ignorant I was when I invited you to walk into my dreams forgetting that you are a part of my reality.Yes as I write this, I feel you are there smiling away and celebrating our consent to your wise decision. Bhavana is a GIFT to US from YOU , so how can you ever let anyone distort her life. I trust you and will always want you to be with us in every walk of life. Let there be pains and troubles, let there be struggles.......... We will accept all this gracefully dear lord for I know that at the end of the rugged path there will be a light to make us glow.

Thank you God.

EXPLORING DEATH THROUGH POETRY

The aim of the paper is to shed free the fear of death and live life to the full. Undoubtedly death is a forbidden zone and we would not like to ponder over it as it casts a ghastly spell with its superpower.

DEATH HAS GOT SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR IT,
WHEREVER YOU MAY BE......................................
THEY BRING TO YOU FREE
Kingsley Amis

My area of research is death. We all know it is the ultimate truth of our existence yet we are unable to accept it. Sometimes this fear gets into our way of living and we die a hundred times before we can actually make our peace.

WHAT ARE DAYS FOR?
DAYS ARE WHERE WE LIVE.
THEY COME, THEY WAKE US,
TIME AND OVER THEY ARE HAPPY TO BE IN;
WHERE CAN WE LIVE, BUT DAYS?

Phillip Larkin

I have chosen poetry as a medium to advocate because poetry can reach out to us and stir our souls. It creates an impact wherein we learn, unravel, rediscover and most importantly poetry heals. I wish to explain this through an anecdote.
I have included Mary Frye in my paper only to assure you that poetry can create wonders. Mary Frye was a simple Baltimore housewife. She was no poet but tried her creativity to only ease out the numbing pain of death. Mary Frye had a friend as a guest at her place who hailed from Germany. While her friend was at Mary’s place back in Germany her mother took ill. Her friend could not visit her dear mother because of the political unrest in Germany then. Eventually her mother passed away and the girl suffered from pangs of guilt for not being able to attend her funeral. A depression set in which none could cure. It was then that Mary Frye wrote a poem that made her friend realise that through death her mother was omnipresent. Mary Frye was so pleased to have healed her friend through her poetic lines that she made handouts of her poem and sent it to every mourner in the vicinity who was coping with the loss of a dear one. Glancing through few lines from the poem, we can evaluate how feelings and emotions can sink in through poetry, thereby influencing and educating us.
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP
I AM NOT THERE, I DO NOT SLEEP.
……………………………
I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW
I AM THE DIAMOND GLINT ON SNOW.
I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN
I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.
…………………………
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND CRY
I AM NOT THERE, I DID NOT DIE.
-Mary Frye.

The spirit of my paper revolves primarily around Rabindranath Tagore and his magnanimous concept of death.
Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore, was born in the city of Calcutta at Jorasanko Mansion on 7th May 1861 to Saroda Devi and Debendranath Tagore [leader of the Brahmo Samaj]. Although he was a sheltered child of an elite family his mind wandered to the land of freedom. He declined class room education and only at the age of 17 went ahead for formal schooling to England. However he returned not having acquired any degree, yet amazingly he shot to fame for his dynamic writings that reflect strength, courage and challenges. As a poet, novelist, musician and playwright, he reshaped Bengali Literature and music. He was a Bengali polymath and was known as ‘Gurudev’. Tagore was a mesmerizing representative of Indian culture whose popularity internationally perhaps could only be compared to Gandhiji. He was awarded the nobel prize for Geetanjali [song of offerings]. His Gitabitan [book of songs] is like a vast resource of strength for every Bengali household. His educational institute Shantiniketan( University –VISHWABHARATI) is known for its essence of freedom in education. He was conferred Knighthood which he returned after the Jalianwala Bagh massacre. Tagore died on 7th august 1941 leaving behind a legacy of his dynamic thoughts through his works. However, ‘death’ wasn’t powerful enough to wipe out his existence as even today, year 2010 that marks Tagore’s 150th Birth anniversary, we find his life and works coming alive. Eastern railway has organised for an Exhibition Train’ named “SANSKRITI EXPRESS” which will travel all over the country to unfold his multi faceted creations and dynamic views beyond the boundaries of conventional ideas.

Tagore says that death is life’s last fulfilment. In his ‘Death from Gitanjali’ he believes death is our guest and will knock at our door someday. We should be prepared for this guest and as we honour a guest we must honour death by setting before it our life.

I WILL NEVER LET HIM GO EMPTY HAND,
AND THE SWEET VINTAGE OF ALL MY AUTUMN DAYS AND SUMMER NIGHTS
ALL THE EARNINGS AND GLEANINGS OF MY BUSY LIFE WILL I PLACE,
BEFORE HIM AT THE CLOSE OF MY DAYS,
WHEN DEATH WILL KNOCK AT MY DOOR.
-Gitanjali.

Tagore shows an eager acceptance of the much hyped ‘fearful death’. His readiness is commendable and makes us wonder how one can be calm and poised over a turmoil like death, which makes us lose our dear ones. Well, Tagore himself wasn’t born with this acumen of being able to overcome the fear of death. There are lines that he wrote when he was just 24, and strangely we find him lamenting there.
ALAS WHERE WILL YOU GO!
IN THAT ENDLESS UNKNOWN LAND…………………..
AND YOU ALONE, ALL ALONE,
HOW WILL YOU FIND YOUR WAY?
ALAS WHERE WILL YOU GO!
NONE OF US WILL BE THERE FOR YOU,
NONE OF US TO CHAT AND TALK TO YOU,
WE SHALL SIT HERE AND WEEP.

It was written for his sister in law Kadambari Devi [his elder brother’s wife] with whom he was exceptionally close. Kadambari Devi committed suicide within four month’s of Tagore’s marriage and Tagore was heartbroken. These lines depict his weakness, his despair over death. However he manages to overcome this weak attitude over death and moves on in his life to realize that death settles the unrest in our existence. He says that all the tears turn into smiles with death. He realizes he had faltered, wept only because her death was his first encounter with grief. Over the years his poems conquered the weakness and depicted death as a part of life.

I WAS WALKING ALONG A PATH OVERCOME WITH GRASS
WHEN SUDDENLY I HEARD FROM SOMEONE BEHIND
‘SEE IF YOU KNOW ME?’
I TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED AT HER AND SAID,
‘I CANNOT REMEMBER YOUR NAME’
SHE SAID ‘I AM THE FIRST GREAT SORROW WHOM YOU MET WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG’

-( From The First Sorrow )
The above lines tell us that Rabindranath Tagore cannot remember the fearful vision of death as he had learnt to accept it as a reality one cannot evade.
Tagore’s idea of death was romantic. He treated death as a lover.

DAY AFTER DAY I HAVE KEPT WATCH FOR THEE
FOR THEE I HAVE BORNE THE JOYS AND PANGS OF LIFE.
ALL THAT I AM, THAT I HAVE, THAT I HOPE,
AND ALL LOVE HAVE EVER FLOWED
TOWARDS THEE IN DEPTHS OF SECRECY.
ONE FINAL GLANCE FROM THINE EYES AND MY LIFE WILL BE THINE OWN.

-Gitanjali.

His poem projects the agony of a lover, his restlessness till he unites with his beloved and here death has been compared to a lover.
Tagore has a mature outlook and feels death is the only truth of life. Since it is the inevitable nothing is more powerful than death. So death should lay its hand on us in a bold manner and not sneak into our lives. Tagore shows exemplary courage when his wife Mrinalini Devi was in her sick bed. Tagore prepared himself for her untimely death as it would free her from her sufferings. He wanted death to ease out her agonies and reprimanded death in his poem DEATH WEDDING [Maran Milan]
According to Tagore death is like a bridegroom who should come with an undaunting spirit to wed his lover, to be crazily wishing to be one. In his poem Death Wedding, he questions death why he has to set in slowly causing unending pains when he can walk in ceremoniously. He says death is the only happening that one cannot avoid and so death should be pompous of this fact and not behave like a thief. Through these lines he gives us an overview of our existence. We should realize that we need to surrender to death willingly. He manages to invoke through the lines unflinching courage and strength to embrace the inevitable and says that we need to overcome our paranoid ideas of death. He encourages us to thrust aside our unreadiness and accept death gracefully. The poem has an emotional sequence that makes us come to terms with death.

DEATH WEDDING

(ORIGINALLY ‘MARAN MILAN’ IN BENGALI)
Translated by William Radice who was a poet , writer, translator. He was a senior lecturer in Bengali in the school of Oriental and African studies, University of London

WHY DO YOU SPEAK SO SOFTLY DEATH, DEATH
CREEP UPON ME, WATCH ME SO STEALTHILY?
THIS IS NOT HOW A LOVER SHOULD BEHAVE…..
I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU THUS COME AND GO
TELL ME IS THIS THE WAY YOU WED, DEATH,
DEATH! UNCEREMONIOUSLY WITH NO WEIGHT OF SACRAMENT OR BLESSING OR PRAYER?

WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS COME LIKE A THIEF DEATH, DEATH
ALWAYS SILENTLY AT NIGHT’S END LEAVING ONLY TEARS?
COME TO ME FESTIVELY. MAKE THE WHOLE NIGHT RING WITH A TRIUMPH,
BLOW YOUR VICTORY CONCH, DRESS ME IN BLOOD ROBES
GRASP ME BY THE HAND AND SWAY ME AWAY.
PAY NO HEED TO WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK, DEATH, DEATH
FOR I SHALL OF MY OWN FREE WILL
RESORT TO YOU BUT IF YOU TAKE ME GLORIOUSLY.

- Excerpts from Death Wedding by Tagore

In his Gitabitan [book of songs], Tagore spurned the frigid attitude towards death. His songs reflect a deeply relevant thinker who says through the melodies of his song that death is like a music that flows from the other end of the stream enchanting us towards it. It comes as a fresh breeze in our lives and further compares our lives to a fair where we are only selling and buying each other, accusing each other. So here comes death as a respite. It takes us into the vast expanse of the skies to mingle in the oblivion and thereby make us glow in the freedom earned through death. He says with death we have to give up our happiness and sorrows. If life is the promise of the lord, death is his assurance.
In one of his songs he expresses that the lamp of our life will extinguish only to welcome the greatest joy that a new dawn is setting in wherein we will meet the Lord - our beloved, our greatest treasure.

He advocates through his works that death cannot be detrimental.
LIFE IS GIVEN TO US
WE CAN EARN IT B Y GIVING IT.
LET THE DEAD HAVE THE IMMORTALITY OF FAME,
BUT THE LIVING THE IMMORTALITY OF LOVE.
-Gitanjali

Let me conclude this discussion on death with glimpses of a beautiful poem by G.K. Chesterton. I have included him in my space of research because he gives us plenty of reasons to live. G.K.Chesterton sports a positive outlook towards life through his work “A Ballad of Suicide” to eventually embrace death FEARLESSLY when the maker is ready to accept us.


THE GALLOWS IN MY GARDEN, PEOPLE SAY,
IS NEW AND NEAT AND ADEQUATELY TALL;
I TIE THE NOOSE ON IN A KNOWING WAY
AS ONE THAT KNOTS HIS NECKTIE FOR A BALL;
BUT JUST AS ALL THE NEIGHBOURS ON THE WALL
ARE DRAWING A LONG BREATH TO SHOUT "HURRAY!“
THE STRANGEST WHIM HAS SEIZED ME. . . AFTER ALL
I THINK I WILL NOT HANG MYSELF TO-DAY.
TO-MORROW IS THE TIME I GET MY PAY
MY UNCLE'S SWORD IS HANGING IN THE HALL
I SEE A LITTLE CLOUD ALL PINK AND GREY
PERHAPS THE RECTOR'S MOTHER WILL NOT CALL
I FANCY THAT I HEARD FROM MR. GALL
THAT MUSHROOMS COULD BE COOKED ANOTHER WAY
I NEVER READ THE WORKS OF JUVENAL
I THINK I WILL NOT HANG MYSELF TO-DAY.
Death is not the end, our mind thinks of death, our heart thinks of life, our soul thinks of immortality. …………..Life is worth living.

Coming back to Tagore’s concept of death we are reassured of the fact that life and death are one and so we cannot possibly distance ourselves from death. According to him life merges with death and it is our fearless heart that encourage us to embrace death gracefully. Gradually we learn to accept the loss of our dear ones by realising that they do exist but with spaces in the togetherness. Tagore projects through his works a mature self and generates this spirit in his ardent readers. He paves a path for us and a realization dawns on us that there can never be a last day for anyone if he has lived his life to his capacities blended with integrity and honesty. We should look forward to death as a continuation of life for it is the curtain raiser to everlasting joy. We should be gallant and be ready to unite with our MAKER .

“WHERE THE MIND IS WITHOUT FEAR AND THE HEAD IS HELD HIGH”
- Tagore

UNLUCKY 13th LUCKY FOR US

M....U...U...U...U...M...S,





Luck unfolded that very day when your tender hands held mine with an extraordinary warmth. Ours is a relationship that had its roots on the 13th of December. It has been a lovely journey since then. Its a special day for us but happily none of the other days have been one shade less special, so today I am truly not celebrating the 13th but our enigmatic relationship over the years.



Going down the memory lane, I feel happy. I can see you at the school gate, me waiting for you in a rickshaw with a black forest pastry. How you would enticingly feast on it from my hands. The simplicities of life giving us magnanimous delight that can have no substitute. How I would feed you lunch after you would be back from an exam and how I would go till the board of our lane longing to see you coming back from college flashing your sweet smile. I am happier as nothing has changed in our relationship. We still share that closeness and that is what makes me dance when you come back from office now. From school to college to office has been quite a TIME but it has all been captured into one MOMENT.....our togetherness.



Sometimes I have a catch in my heart. Soon you will be away from me after your wedding. I cannot imagine this house without your presence, without your touch, without your care and concern and then tears choke me as I know....THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU AGAIN.



M...U...U...U...U...M...S its very difficult to fathom this phase of my life where I wish to see you settled yet feel unsettled at the thought that you will not be around. Every dawn is special for me as I wake up to your charming ways. Everyday is a thanksgiving day for me.



What you are to me is impossible to put across. Today particularly I know what a rainbow is. You are my rainbow when my days are shrouded with anxiety. You have grown up to give me back all that I have given you. How will I manage to live without the comfort of your caring ways. I surrender before you as these feelings cross my mind and unnerve me.



People reading this letter may be confused as to why I addressed you as MUMS. Thats the best part of our bonding where as a mother I helped you to grow and now as a mature adult you mother me instead. There is such magic in our ways that you understand what all I have to say when I just sms M...u...u...u...u...m...s. You know I am saying .........when will you come home, how long will you sit in office, i am missing you, i am getting angry and where are you. There is no need of being so explicit when you understand everything without having to say. With you I can be my true self. I can transform myself from an adult and speak incoherently like a kid, jump around like a squirrel and tell you that I will reach home in 596 mins and 75 hours.... a LINGO you can relate to so well by now. An enchanting spark connects us that makes me word your thoughts and then you hug me and say...."Mamma how do you come to know what I have to say and how Mamma everytime, just how?" Some questions remain unanswered as they have a deeper connection in some other life. I believe in this and feel happy that our souls have found each other in this mystical world and LET US REJOICE THIS DAY AND THIS SPECIAL UNION.



With lots of love and much more than you can wish for yourself.



Mamma (ONLY YOUR MAMMA FOREVER)

DEFINING LOVE..........................

EKTI KOTHAI LIKHE JABO...............................

SHUDHU JIBONER LIPIKA TE................................

TUMI JE AMAR, TUMI JE AMAR OGO........................

AAJ NOY OGO BUJHBE SHEDIN...................................

ROHIBE JEDIN EKA.



How else could a Bengali define love. The lines of this soul stirring song says it all. Even as an English Teacher I feel incompetent to translate these lines that embody subtle emotions of true love; yet let me try....................

" WILL WRITE DOWN JUST ONE THING........................

ON MY LIFE'S NOTE PAD.............................................

YOU ARE MINE, THAT YOU ARE MINE...............................

NOT TODAY BUT SOMEDAY YOU WILL REALISE THIS..............

WHEN YOU WILL BE LEFT TO STAY WITHOUT ME.


It was twilight. Two people from diametrically opposite worlds were meeting after a long spell. The only common thing between them was the love that swelled in their hearts.He walked in and knew it all reading her eyes. When you dont need to spell out things ... IT IS LOVE. She was battling a pain of neglect that was inflicted on her by him. He caressed her hand and in that very caress everything was vividly clear. He did not have to say he loved her, he did not have to say he was sorry for the uncaring attitude...... She did not have to say it was an unbearable wait. Their hands talked. cried, cajoled and united them in the true spirit of love.
THIS IS HOW I DEFINE LOVE.

There was an eerie silence for a long time. There was an unrest in her heart and unknowingly she found herself in an embrace she couldnt logically unravel. LOVE DOES NOT GO WITH LOGIC. He held her close yet no words were spoken. UNSAID THINGS ARE EMPOWERED WITH BETTER EXPRESSIONS. It wasnt deemed perhaps for him to hold her so close yet love is the strongest emotion that makes you surrender to the riot in your heart. Your heart says....UNVEIL THE DEEPEST FEELINGS AND JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT WITHOUT ANY REGRETS. And why regret at all ?? It wasnt a sexual encounter. ITS LOVING EACH OTHER BEYOND REALITY.

Her tears streamed down. His body trembled as he wished to soothe her with a kiss. And then softly he kissed her eyes wiping away all the tears. Both did not speak as even without words they were reaching out to each other. THIS IS HOW I DEFINE LOVE. Love is the comfort you feel in a hug, the pain that tugs at your heart, It is the magic that makes you surrender to a kiss that takes in all the droplets of HURT from your teary eyes. Most importantly it is the longing in each others eyes when you are amidst many people. Oh what a beautiful feeling is LOVE. You dont need to enjoy the climax of SEX if you have experienced TRUE LOVE that makes you belong to each other when you know you actually dont.

Love is to nurse a HOST OF MEMORIES that no rooted reality can make you part with. TRUE LOVE IS SHEER ECSTACY. It grants you its share of agonising pain but there is a sweetness even in that pain where YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONES LIFE TILL ETERNITY.

Love is synonymous to TELEPATHY. Yearn for someone who has no possibilities to return and believe in your feelings. You just watch and see how the soul etched in your body moves out stealthily to magnetically bring forth the person you have desired. And then will dawn upon you the FINAL and the ULTIMATE definition of LOVE.

LOVE IS DIVINE AS LOVE IS CREATED IN OUR HEARTS BY THE LORD AND SOMETIMES THESE UNNATURAL HAPPENINGS IN YOUR LIFE WILL CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE SO CLOSE AS IT WAS GOD'S DECISION.

A PERFECT MATCH

It was a real long wait...............



Till she found her soulmate.



God reserves his choicest blessings..............



For people who possess the best of things.



A lady par excellence is SHE...............



A man with the right chemistry is HE.



He- an academician of renown...............



With accolades that humbly crown.



She- a dedicated teacher......................



A simple and honest preacher.



Thats how it clicked over the net..............



The tech savvy world is a great boon I bet.



There is celebration in the air................



To honour this loving pair.



On Christmas Eve, may the angels sing...........



For thats when their wedding bells will ring.



Lets wish them well , rejoice and pray...........



As they turn Husband and Wife that day.



Connecting the dots forward, the LORD will guard..........



And BLISS will be written on every card.

MY UNROMANTIC HUSBAND...................

Adjectives adorn a personality and can mar it too. Well, the only negatively used ‘describing word’ which I can probably mention at rampant for the man of my life is ‘UNROMANTIC’. An honest confession……… it has caused me many a tear, yet he emerges victorious and steals away the crown and truly is a majestic husband.

My man is different from the others not because he is tall and stands out but because his ways have been stupendous. He may not be the one who would bowl me out with an enchanting dance or send violets or light some candles over a dinner and steal a rapturous kiss, yet he has made himself to the victory stand for his unmatched ways. As a lover he stood by me, honoured me for what I was and married me against all odds. I thought he had given me everything that I could ask for. On marrying this man I found he was always wanting to light up my life despite the trials and tribulations of his journey to professional success. An understanding man who wanted me to be well educated, who never wanted me to waste my talent at home. I can never forget the early days of marriage as it does not mean only honeymoon days for me. It reminds of a supportive husband who smiled away over a badly cooked dinner and even would take a generous helping just to put me at ease. A husband who would understand my woes of parting from my mother and would personally go and get her to enliven my life. A husband who would monitor like a grandfather whether I was taking good care of my very own mother. It does talk about a splendid person in him.

As a twenty two year old, on so many occasions I opened the door to welcome him back to a home where things were all upset as I would get stiff bored of house chores. An energetic man and the loving husband would spring to action settling the house and soon I learnt how to turn it into a home from him. He is perhaps energy personified. A man who could wear a smile even after a hectic train journey of two nights without reservation which he once took up by choice just to be with me. He was more than happy to be home. A man who can drive any distance to pick me up from somewhere as my comfort has always been his priority.

My beloved husband could start for work comfortably at 9 in the morning but would set off with me at 7 itself with a happy feeling that he would drive me safe to my school where I was a teacher then. I would have to get up early at 5 to finish off the cooking and with the alarm clock he would flash a smile and enjoy the bed tea. Trust me never, ever complained of having to get up in the wee hours of the morning. On the contrary would be upset if I wouldn’t call him. Strange it sounds right as I call him my unromantic husband.

Well he is a far cry from romance. He probably is a loving man who craves for togetherness. If that can be defined as romance then I have had a share of romance in my life. My sagittarian husband does not understand the lingo of romance perhaps but has done magnanimous things that people would shudder to do. On knowing that I was going through the pains of being childless he would assert that he was not fond of children. And then when he learnt I was wanting to adopt a ten year old girl who wished to be mine he never questioned. He did it for me and my smiles. And let me come to the highest honour I can credit him with. HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER TO DISTRACTION. All this has been possible only for his unbound love for me. He proved it with sincerity that love means sacrifice. I will be undermining his efforts if I sit and list out his sacrifices. It’s just for my readers to understand.

Together we have battled the unending struggles we had to meet up with. We have also had our share of bitter moments yet the happy moments surely weighed more . Sometimes my friends teasingly question how I hooked this man, so disturbingly good looking. My mind then wanders back to the distant days of the past when we fell in love without a reason. Probably that’s why till date we do not reason out things and stay on as HUSBAND and WIFE despite our differences.

Dear husband, the bridge on which we tread years back is still strong celebrating and bringing alive the moments when you confessed your love for me. It has lasted long enough for us to explore the changing times. We are ancient now, we have drowned our youth and are turning grey but our silence speaks more than words. With open arms I welcome the days ahead…… a romantic desire to hold your trembling hands, to feel your wrinkled skin, matching it out with mine and still wanting to care, wanting to be MAN and WOMAN till we are lost in the oblivion.

MY MEAGRE WOMB

My beloved daughter, although not my flesh and blood came into my life to give birth to the mother in me.My life was in a dormant sleep and she pulled at the chords of my motherhood and proved it to everybody including me ..." WHAT GOOD ARE LEGALITIES WHEN THE HEART YEARNS FOR SOMEONE." My meagre womb can never match BHAVANA. She is deemed to be greater than it. I never gave her my share of milk but she has come to return the love in manifold. She is my own being , my very own existence.......a love that has enveloped my life in absolute bliss.There was a phase in my life when I went through the turmoil of being childless.Probably at that time she was waiting an unbearable wait for me to recognise her soul and understand that she was mine even in the eerie silence of my womb. Her voice calling me MAMMA fondles my dream to that of a starry night. Her sight caresses my soul.She has walked into my life like a princess and adorned me with the melodies of motherhood...........Time stood still and bliss set in as I unravelled the treasure in mothering a child who had come from the land of unknown to assure me that she was always mine.She came to teach me that love isnt just a beautiful word. Beyond this syllable is a wonderful feeling .And that is what BHAVANA, the hindi connotation of the word implies and that is exactly what BHAVANA is all about.Sketching out with a brush I could just put across at one stroke that she is a MIRACLE.

As i hold her in an affectionate embrace her eyes close as peace prevails.I will not allow anyone to trade this serenity that soothes her heart yet I have to snap this unseen umbilical cord that connects us and give her up to the man of her dreams. That day I will be giving my all. A mother having a daughter would only be able to relate to this sentiment. What it costs to give away her fairy , her doll to someone unknown , someone who wouldnt even know her child's silent joys, wishes and tears.

As I take every breath a silent prayer rises above. I place it at the altar with a mother's conviction that my daughter is going to get the best in this life .You cant ask me why, for love is never about logic and reasoning. I just create that belief in my soul and drive my apprehensions away. There is no end to wanting for your child when you are a mother.Sometimes I look ahead beyond this life. I can see a new chapter unfolding. Subtle emotions cross my mind as I gear up for the next phase of my life. A day that holds promises for my child, a day when she will be far away from me , perhaps in a distant land, in the canopy of her newly bestowed family life, yet she will be forever mine. Oh what a beautiful feeling this is. A sense of security that stems from the unbound love of a child who gave me the identity of a MOTHER. My darling, thank you so very much for enriching my life with the world's greatest gift..... MOTHERHOOD.

An Ode To My Royal Students

As you are about to begin a tomorrow without me,
Let me assure you of your destiny…
You are going to sail smooth through the phase,
As I shall reside in your heart always.
As students you are courageous and brave,
And the road to success you will pave…
Strength and perseverance you have in you,
Creating wonders in whatever you do
The exuberance in your ways startle me,
The innocence in your heart is forever to be.
I am amazed when you shower your loving tribute,
Looking back with fondness and gratitude.
I have learnt so much from you students dear,
How to love, how to forgive and bear…
I couldn’t have been what I am today,
Without your smiles that you flashed all the way.
You have floored me with your charming ways,
And I can never forget you with the passing days.
I fumble to perfectly narrate…
What a palpable bliss in me you create.
I have sought refuge in you many a times,
As students with you my life rhymes.
We have shared a relationship for sometime,
And moments you gifted me were beautiful and sublime.
Will be connected to you with memories coming alive,
The pleasurable glimpses will forever thrive.
Whenever I close my eyes taking a relaxed breath,
Dear students I can see your image beyond death.
I stretch my arms holding on to this last spell,
Misery of ending my term in Royal is hard to tell.
You have asked me a million times…”Why, Miss, Why???”
“Sorry students----probably its time to say goodbye.”
Well things change, life goes on, so it will for us…
But nothing can take me away from you, I STATE THUS!!!